find us faithful

Three years ago today, my great grandma Geraldine went home to be with the Lord.

As I think about her life, I can't help but marvel at the amazing woman that she was. She was a pastor's wife and mother to eleven children, and she devoted her life to encouraging and serving those around her. She was a fierce prayer warrior with a generous servant's heart, always prepared with cards in the mail for every birthday and anniversary. In her old age she developed hand tremors that skewed her beautiful script, voice tremors that distorted her speech, and Alzheimer's that twisted her memories. While I don't envy the trials that she faced in her old age, I so want to live a life that leaves a legacy like she did.

Our last family reunion together - Summer 2009

Let's start with the fact that she and her husband raised their eleven children to walk with the Lord, and they did the same with their children. Because of them, I have a tremendously rich and Godly heritage that not everyone can say they have. It brings new meaning to Paul's letter to Timothy, in which he mentions the young man's godly heritage (2 TIm 1:5): I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.

My mom, grandma, and I on the day I left for Germany 

Second, consider the fact that she was so ready to go home that she basically planned her own funeral, long before her mind started to go. I have a photocopy of part of her prayer journal in my Bible, on it the lyrics to the Steve Green song "Find us Faithful" as well as Salvation Army Songbook song numbers and various scripture passages. Even in her death, she pointed people to Jesus. 

If I'm being completely honest, many times I feel myself wondering when will my life begin, much like Rapunzel in Disney's Tangled. Then I come to the startling realization that last week I turned 27 and remember that my life has definitely begun. I am not at all where I thought I would be at 27, but I am where I am supposed to be. I always imagined that by now I would have married and begun raising a house full of munchkins. After all, if I'm going to have eleven kids, I'd better get started early, right?

Um yeah, about that. God's definitely made it clear that mothering eleven children is not my calling. I do still feel a strong desire to raise a family, and I believe that it is still going to happen someday. But even if I never marry or have my own biological children, I will have had more "children" than any earthly mother can or ever will birth.

I refer to my students as my kids, even when they have left my classroom. I rejoice with them, I get frustrated with them, I carry their burdens home with me and I carry them to the Throne when they are broken. I laugh with them every day, I cry when they graduate from eighth grade, and I discipline them even though it hurts me more than it hurts them. They surprise me with their wit, intelligence, and deep understanding of humanity due to their multicultural upbringing. They humble me with their servant hearts and their pure faith. They challenge me with their questions and their eager minds waiting to be blown by the awesomeness of science. And I love them like they were my own.

They are my legacy. Even if they don't remember anything else about their time in my class, I want them to know that I loved Jesus, and that He loves them, too. I pray that when they look back on their time in the BFA middle school, that they find me and their other teachers faithful.


Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
[Steve Green, Find us Faithful]