quarter three update and prayer needs

Third quarter: past the halfway point and yet still so far away from the finish line. The stretch of time between Christmas break and Easter break is often the longest and hardest part of the school year for both students and teachers. The days seems to simultaneously crawl and fly by, so full of exciting events yet so exhausting. Weekends are quickly snatched up for retreats, conferences, and birthday getaways, and before you know it the cold, dark days of January have given way to the slightly warmer, ever-lengthening days of spring.

One of the best ways to brighten up a dreary winter day is to have a spirit day! The theme was "Candy."

In late February we attended the high school retreat in Nurnberg, Germany. This was a bittersweet weekend for me because it was the last time I will attend with my small group girls. They are only juniors but since I will not be at BFA next year, this is our last year together. During retreat we were refreshed by the worship times and challenged by the speaker to be rooted in the knowledge of Christ.

attempting selfies!

Seventh graders did their big research projects on the human body and presented on the various systems. The digestive system group had a lot of fun with their project and served us "brownies" which we ate with much enthusiasm!

Our next spirit day was "Books."

Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games) 

Charlie Brown 

Piglet and Pooh

During the last week of the quarter, sixth graders wrapped up their scientific method unit by presenting their science fair projects. They worked hard to come up with a project idea, plan and execute an experiment, collect and analyze the data, and present their findings to the class. I'm so proud of their hard work on these projects!

And now, I am about to enter the homestretch. We are currently on spring break and classes resume next Wednesday. The two months until graduation honestly terrify me because the end is so near. There is still so much on my list - not only my "to-do" list (the responsibilities I must attend to) but my "bucket list" (the things I want to do before leaving Germany) as well. I am already feeling the temptation to check out but I can't afford to not be 100% present over these next two months. Please join me in praying in the following ways:

1) For financial provision that will enable me to finish this school year. As I wrote a few weeks ago, my support is dangerously low. I honestly do not know where the money will come from to meet the expenses facing me in these last two months, but I do know with certainty that God will meet all my needs.

2) For focus, strength, and good time management as I not only wrap up the school year but pack up and clean my apartment, and work through the "departing staff" checklist for BFA.

3) For positive attitudes and diligence as I work with a team to plan and execute the annual eighth grade class trip. It's hard for me to accept change, and this year involves quite a bit of deviation from "tradition." This will be my fifth year on the trip and I want to see it through fresh eyes this year.

4) For diligence and boldness as I prepare for a summer of support raising so that I may continue to serve in Spain this fall. Pray that God would prepare the hearts of the people who will hear my story, and that I would be able to fully express my vision and heart for the TCKs in my care. Pray that God would provide miraculously through His people.

5) For logistics related to my transition from Germany to Spain. Visa paperwork, housing arrangements, and flight plans are just a few of the things that are causing me a lot of stress right now.

6) For healthy ways to manage my stress levels, which will hopefully keep my blood pressure down. I return to the doctor in June (perhaps the most stressful month of the year) for the final follow-up appointment to determine whether I will need to begin taking medication for hypertension. Pray especially that my blood pressure would remain low and that the doctor would get accurate readings.

I can't express how thankful I am for each and every one of you. Your prayers, your notes of encouragement, your generous financial gifts, and your interest in my students means the world to me and I would not be here today without you! THANK YOU!!

for crying out loud

I'm really bad at asking for help. At some point I got it into my head that I needed to be strong and independent, but somewhere along the line I became a little too independent. It's interesting, then, that I have chosen a lifestyle that relies on my ability to ask for help and live on the generosity of those around me.

It's also interesting that the concept of "crying out for help" has come up several times in my Bible studies over the last few months. It started with a sermon at church about the story of Jesus walking out to the disciples on the water and Peter asking Jesus to call him out of the boat. While a lot of people give Peter flack for his doubt and subsequent sinking, my pastor made a good point that I'd never thought of before: The reason he was even able to sink was because he got out of the boat! Not only that, but he asked Jesus to call him out of the boat. For some reason that struck a chord with me as I compared myself to Peter. Now I've never walked on the Rhein River but once upon a time I asked God to send me into the world, and in faith I stepped out of my comfortable boat into an ocean of foreign languages and cultural adjustments and homesickness and a bunch of crazy teenagers that make my life worth living. And like Peter, when I take my eyes off of Jesus I begin to sink -- not into the ocean but into anxiety, selfishness, and insecurity. Many also speculate on why Jesus let Peter sink. Couldn't he have just let Peter walk on water? Sure, but if he had, would Peter have truly placed his confidence in Jesus? Or would he have taken the credit for this little "miracle"? I think that Peter needed to cry out to Jesus and remember where his strength was coming from. He also needed to see firsthand that Jesus would hear and answer his cries.

In the days following that sermon, I got the unsettling sense that God was getting ready to bring me to a place where I would have no choice but to call out to Him to deliver me.

A few weeks later during my Beth Moore study on the life of David, the idea of crying out to God came up again. One thing I've really enjoyed during this study is the ability to look at the actual events in 1-2 Samuel, then read what was going through David's mind in the psalms that he wrote. David cried out to the Lord multiple times to deliver him from the hand of his enemies, which He did. Beth Moore wrote, "God could rescue us with or without our cry for help." So why, then, must we call on Him before He rescues us? She raises a very interesting question. The more I've thought about it, the more I am convinced that before I can truly appreciate God's hand in my life, I have to first be willing to admit that I need it. As long as I can take care of things on my own then I don't need to ask for help. The very act of asking is admitting that I can't do it on my own. I have to lay down my pride and place myself in God's hand before He can truly help me. Furthermore, when I surrender control and place my life in God's hands I have no choice but to give Him the glory for what happens next.

Over the last several weeks God has given me plenty of opportunities to put this new idea into practice, most notably last week when I received an email from TeachBeyond informing me that due to the balance of my account, my monthly "salary" is being reduced -- by about 20%. Once again I find myself dangerously close to being sent home just a few months before the school year is over.

I'll tell you a secret: raising support is not fun, enjoyable, or easy. In fact, it's the most stressful part of my job. There's so much pressure when your entire life is on display, and it's tempting to turn it into a display of my own strength and abilities. It's hard sometimes to keep the right perspective. But it's the life I have chosen for myself and the only way that I am able to serve my Who. After five years of struggling through the highs and lows of this life, I've come to the conclusion that it's not supposed to be easy. If it were, then I could take credit for it myself and no doubt forget to praise the One who truly deserves the credit. Because of the struggle, I am forced to truly humble myself before Him before He can help me, otherwise I'll continue operating under the delusion that I am enough and that I can take care of myself.

So now that I've cried out to Jesus and accepted that I can't do this without Him, I cry out to you, my friends and supporters. The reality of my current situation is that my support account is about to go into the negative -- or already has, as my month-end statement will probably show up as this posts. I am checking my mailbox every day for my German tax bill, which I was told will be in the neighborhood of about 2,000 Euro. I am in desperate need of new monthly supporters in order to finish this school year and move on to Spain this fall. I am going to have to pay all my bills here in Germany for the month of July while I am in America. My five-year old computer has reached the end of its lifespan and I can't afford to buy a new one. There are a lot more stressors on my mind right now but these are the most pressing. It's hard not to despair. God has brought me to a place of complete and utter dependence on Him, and now I humbly seek His provision through you. Many of you are already giving generously and I can't ask you to do more. However, if you are reading this and are not currently partnering with me financially, would you consider praying about becoming a monthly supporter or one-time gifter?

I\d like to end this post by sharing with you two songs that have been on repeat over the last few weeks. The first one, Faithful, is a beautiful reminder of how I can trust God with my future because of what He's done with my past. The second, Lift My Life Up, is a response to God's faithfulness. When I acknowledge who God is my only response is complete and total surrender.