Christmas Presence

This year I had the huge blessing of spending Christmas in Germany. You're probably thinking, "Big deal - you always spend Christmas in Germany!" and you are very right. However, it IS a big deal to me because I did not expect to be spending this particular Christmas in Germany. A year ago I was beginning to think of life "after BFA" - where I would be, who I'd be with, etc. and I was preparing to apply to teach at ECA in Spain. I expected that I would spend Christmas in Spain this year, or if I was lucky, in America with my family. Then my visa application process took a few nasty turns and I ended up with an appointment to pick up my visa at the Spanish consulate in Germany on December 18. I figured if I was paying the money to fly to Germany, I might as well stick around for the holidays, especially since many of my friends in Spain were also leaving for break. My heart was overjoyed at the thought of being "home" for the holidays, and even though my closest friends were not here, I still enjoyed spending time with old and new friends alike.

I also had the privilege of staying in my own apartment, as the couple I am subletting to were away. I can't tell you what a huge blessing it was to sleep in my own bed, eat on my own dishes, and curl up with my own fuzzy brown blanket and a book. After all the stress and chaos and confusion of learning to live in Spain and finding my way in a new school, it was a much needed return to the comforts of home. Being able to unwind, decompress, and relax in my own apartment has helped renew my strength and prepare me for the next semester at ECA.

Christmas day can be quite lonely for single missionaries like me, so it's important to find a family to spend the holidays with. I lucked out in that I got to be with three different "families" over the course of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I am often invited to a Christmas meal at the home of a family, and this year was no different. My Christmas dinner was spent with three BFA staff families who I have known and worked with to varying degrees for five years, and being with them after having been gone was like being at home with my extended family. None of them are old enough to be my parents, so it felt like hanging out with my aunts and uncles while the cousins played rambunctiously in the next room. They wanted to hear all about Spain, and then, even on Christmas Day, our conversation turned to our students! These friends knew me well, and I was blessed to simply bask in the comfort of their friendship. Even though I didn't get to unwrap any presents on Christmas day, I was gifted with the presence of people I love and that was more meaningful than any tangible gift I could have received.

find us faithful

Three years ago today, my great grandma Geraldine went home to be with the Lord.

As I think about her life, I can't help but marvel at the amazing woman that she was. She was a pastor's wife and mother to eleven children, and she devoted her life to encouraging and serving those around her. She was a fierce prayer warrior with a generous servant's heart, always prepared with cards in the mail for every birthday and anniversary. In her old age she developed hand tremors that skewed her beautiful script, voice tremors that distorted her speech, and Alzheimer's that twisted her memories. While I don't envy the trials that she faced in her old age, I so want to live a life that leaves a legacy like she did.

Our last family reunion together - Summer 2009

Let's start with the fact that she and her husband raised their eleven children to walk with the Lord, and they did the same with their children. Because of them, I have a tremendously rich and Godly heritage that not everyone can say they have. It brings new meaning to Paul's letter to Timothy, in which he mentions the young man's godly heritage (2 TIm 1:5): I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.

My mom, grandma, and I on the day I left for Germany 

Second, consider the fact that she was so ready to go home that she basically planned her own funeral, long before her mind started to go. I have a photocopy of part of her prayer journal in my Bible, on it the lyrics to the Steve Green song "Find us Faithful" as well as Salvation Army Songbook song numbers and various scripture passages. Even in her death, she pointed people to Jesus. 

If I'm being completely honest, many times I feel myself wondering when will my life begin, much like Rapunzel in Disney's Tangled. Then I come to the startling realization that last week I turned 27 and remember that my life has definitely begun. I am not at all where I thought I would be at 27, but I am where I am supposed to be. I always imagined that by now I would have married and begun raising a house full of munchkins. After all, if I'm going to have eleven kids, I'd better get started early, right?

Um yeah, about that. God's definitely made it clear that mothering eleven children is not my calling. I do still feel a strong desire to raise a family, and I believe that it is still going to happen someday. But even if I never marry or have my own biological children, I will have had more "children" than any earthly mother can or ever will birth.

I refer to my students as my kids, even when they have left my classroom. I rejoice with them, I get frustrated with them, I carry their burdens home with me and I carry them to the Throne when they are broken. I laugh with them every day, I cry when they graduate from eighth grade, and I discipline them even though it hurts me more than it hurts them. They surprise me with their wit, intelligence, and deep understanding of humanity due to their multicultural upbringing. They humble me with their servant hearts and their pure faith. They challenge me with their questions and their eager minds waiting to be blown by the awesomeness of science. And I love them like they were my own.

They are my legacy. Even if they don't remember anything else about their time in my class, I want them to know that I loved Jesus, and that He loves them, too. I pray that when they look back on their time in the BFA middle school, that they find me and their other teachers faithful.


Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
[Steve Green, Find us Faithful]

hello monday

Hello Monday. You may be the last full Monday of the summer that I spend in America! I hope you bring a Tuesday and a Wednesday and a Thursday full of blessings as I try to raise the last bit of support I need to get back to Germany.

Hello yard sale goods. Thanks to Dad's very generous friend you are going to make this weekend's final yard sale a huge event. I hope the people in my neighborhood will not be as cheap this time around and be willing to pay reasonable prices, rather than heckle me into selling everything for a quarter.

Hello solitude. Now that Mom finally got to go back to work after four weeks of recovery following her foot surgery, I am home alone. Good thing I have a yard sale to prepare and a suitcase to pack.

Hello new followers! I have been noticing my GFC follower count rise ever so slightly over the past few weeks and I hope you decide to introduce yourself and stick around!

Hello new monthly supporters! Since yesterday's update TWO more states were claimed for $20 each. Now that I am one week from departure, I'll be posting daily support updates. Join me in praying that the funds come in quickly!! If you want to get involved, visit TeachBeyond's website to sign up for monthly support today.

What do you say hello to today?

hello monday

Hello Monday. You're not so scary in the summertime, when I don't actually have to go to work. But, you are scary when I think that in only two more Mondays I am supposed to leave again for Germany but I still don't have enough monthly supporters enabling to go. Would you help me get back to BFA by becoming a monthly supporter?

Hello SweetFrog. I will be seeing you again tonight and you will be delicious.

Hello new necklaces! I am so thankful for a "boom" in jewelry sales over the past few weeks and am excited to now be offering my handmade signature pieces in lovely new colors. Check out my shop this week because new items will be added everyday! And watch my Facebook page for a special Christmas in July sale taking place on the 25th!!

Hello family. It has been so wonderful to spend quality time with my extended family while in America, especially while playing Ticket to Ride.

five things friday

I'm so excited to be in Greencastle, Indiana this weekend visiting good friends and sharing about my year at BFA with the Lifebuilder Community Church!! Here are five things that are on my mind right now.

{1}

This week my mom and I attempted to make the short version of this dress. The tutorial makes it look super simple, and for the most part it was. We just couldn't get the elastic thread to cooperate, so we improvised. Now that we've figured out our own tricks, we hope to bust out a few more of these in different colors before I head back to Germany!

{2}

Sesame Street has spoofed Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe with the Cookie Monster. I can't stop singing this song. (Email subscribers may need to click on the title of this post to view the video)

{3}

Speaking of cookies, Happy Birthday, Oreo. If you like birthday cake and Oreos, you will love these special edition Oreos celebrating the cookie's 100th birthday! They are super yummy, and my pack was gone within two days. Don't worry, I shared!!

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{4}

The game Zug um Zug (Ticket to Ride in English) is one of my new (within the last few years) favorite games. Alot of people think board games are boring, and I will agree - most American board games are boring because all you do is roll the dice and go in circles around the board. Europe sort of has us beat in that area. When playing Zug um Zug, no two games are ever the same, and there are expansion packs available to add even more variety! It's a strategy game with only a litle bit of the "luck of the draw" tossed in. My family now has the Europe, USA, Asia, India, and Switzerland maps and we have been playing a LOT this summer. If you're a local reader, you should come over and play with us sometime. :)

the Swiss map

 

{5}

Support raising continues to be a slow process. I know God is working and moving in people's hearts to generate generosity, and I know He is reminding me to trust in HIM rather than myself. Resting in peace is a daily choice, as I have always struggled with anxiety and the uncertainty of the next few weeks isn't helping. Just two days ago my mom commented on how much hair I'd lost in the shower - a physical indicator of just how stressed I truly am. I do not believe that God would call me to this ministry and then frustrate me by withholding the resources necessary for me to serve. Please continue to pray for me to find the people who will partner with me financially this year!

five things on friday the fifteenth

{1}

Black Forest Academy: At A Glance from Black Forest Academy Videos on Vimeo.

You should watch this video produced by our communications experts at BFA. It's a great overview of the school; I just wish it included middle schoolers as well. If you are thinking about joining my support team this year, this video should seal the deal. ;) Or maybe this video will make you want to join me in Germany this fall...

{2}

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Last week I discovered a new flavor of coffee creamer. Being in Germany means no creamer, just milk and sugar. I am suddenly finding all kinds of excuses to drink coffee because of this stuff. It is WAY better than my go-to Peppermint Mocha!

{3}

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I started running again, though at this point I can only refer to it as "wogging" - that's my word for combination walking/jogging. For some reason I have this sick desire to run a half marathon with my friend Katrina in Switzerland in September. So, I am combining my couch to 10K schedule with a couch to half-marathon schedule that I found online. The C210K has guidelines for how long to run at a time - for example, it starts you out running in only one-minute spurts and eventually builds up to running 15-20 minutes at a time with 1-minute walk breaks in between. The C2HM has guidelines for overall distance and takes you from 3 miles all the way up to 11 miles. So this week I have been covering a distance of three miles, by running one minute and walking two minutes. I know it sounds lame, but I have been working up a sweat so I know I'm doing something right. Plus, I don't want another knee injury so I am trying to be smart about this! Oh, and having my parents' dog along for the ride helps because he tugs on the leash and keeps me going!!

{4}

I've added lots of brand new pieces to the shop this week and will continue to do so next week. My creative juices have been flowing like lava from an active volcano. Now I just need to channel this creativity into my support raising and I'll be set. Click the link above to get your hands on some new bling and support me in the process. :)

{5}

I love this shot I got of the pup today on a drive through town. That is all. :)

forgiving the villain

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This week during homeroom my 8th graders and I have been praying for the people involved in the school shooting that took place on Monday at Chardon High School (Ohio). For some reason, this event has been heavy on my heart as I try to understand TJ Lane, the boy who brought a gun to school and murdered three other boys. There hasn't been much information released about the young man except that he was a loner, regularly picked on by others, and the son of an absent father.

Now we cannot presume to know TJ or any of the other people involved in this story. We don't know anything aside from what the media tells us. Yet we are quick to point fingers and spew accusations. We like having a person to blame, a face to direct our anger towards. Naturally, our blame goes straight to the shooter. We don't need the whole story! We've got a guy with a gun! That's all that really matters, afterall.

I will not deny that he is to blame. There is no excuse for murder. He deserves whatever punishment the court deems appropriate.

But what happens after the punishment?

In an ideal world: Repentence. Forgiveness. Reconciliation. Freedom.

If my Facebook newsfeed is any indication of America's general consensus (and it usually is), forgiveness isn't an option for TJ Lane. We need someone to hate, and TJ is the perfect candidate. After all, he did kill three people. Nevermind that we are third party observers with no personal connection to the victims. We self-righteously tweet that TJ is a scumbag who will suffer the wrath of God in the eternal flames of Hell because obviously, that's where he's going when he dies.

Am I the only one who finds this incredibly disturbing? Who do we think we are, to cast such judgment and withhold forgiveness from another human being? I'll say it again - he did a terrible thing. However, he is not the first person to have committed homicide and he will certainly not be the last. And let's not forget that we ourselves are broken, sinful people. Maybe you've never murdered anyone, but sin is sin.

As I've already mentioned, my 8th graders and I have been spending our homeroom time this week praying for the people involved in the shooting. We have prayed for peace and strength for the victims' families, and for restored health for the injured students.  We have bodly asked that TJ Lane find salvation. We have asked that God be glorified in this tragedy, and that His truth would be proclaimed.

This morning I came across an article and video with the headline stating, "Chardon High School shooting victim's mother forgives alleged gunman." Of course, I had to share it with my students, and we rejoiced that God is using this tragedy to draw people to Him. I encourage you to watch the interview. It alternates between the mother, Phyllis, sharing memories of her son and answering questions from the reporter. At one point the reporter compliments Phyllis for her faith, then tries to imply that the shooter had a less than ideal upbringing. Phyllis refuses to speculate about TJ, saying, "Until you walked in that person's shoes, we should not speak of them or mention them, because you don't know what made him come to this point...it's not my place... GOD is the judge." Her steadfast trust in God and his plan for her life gives her the strength to handle this tragedy with peace. Furthermore, it allows her to forgive the young man who has stolen her own son's life.

I don't know about you, but I'm convicted. If she, having suffered the tragic loss of her own son, can extend forgiveness to TJ Lane, then tell me: why is it so hard for the rest of us?

a coffee cupdate

If we were to sit down for a cup of coffee, I would have a lot to tell you.

I would tell you that I am so thrilled to be singing in a choir again, and that Danny Plett is probably the most fun director I've ever sang for. I would hand you a flyer and ask you to come to the Great Hallelujah at Black Forest Christian Fellowship on April 28 and 29 because it's going to be huge and you won't want to miss it. I would probably then laugh and tell you how I accidentally walked into the men's bathroom during this Sunday's rehearsal, and that while no one was in the bathroom (thank God!), a man standing in the hallway watched me go in and as a result, almost walked into the women's bathroom!

I would probably then remember another awkward/awesome moment that happened at my best friend Katrina's Dominion tournament birthday party on Saturday night. I would most likely be giggling uncontrollably as I explain how I poured myself a drink, then set my cup down and turned around to pick up a cookie, turning back just in time to see someone else pick up my cup and take a sip. I would laugh out loud recalling the look on her face as we both realized at the same time what had just happened. I would also inform you that even though I failed at winning any of the games in the tournament, my mischevious friends and I had pretty epic costumes. I would probably ask you what embarassing moments you've experienced recently. Maybe we would swap "most embarassing moment" stories and laugh louder than anyone else in the coffeeshop.

I might mention that I'm feeling the pressure, financially, right now. You would probably already know that support has been low for me this year, and that some pledged support has not come in, but that God has been doing miracles for me all year. I would share with you that my biggest frustration right now has been trying to decide what to do this summer, knowing that I need to go back to the States for support raising but not having the money to pay for the ticket. Then, I would start grinning as I tell you that my prayer has been answered, and that just last night two people who love me very much (no, not my parents, but they love me too!)  told me that they going to help me buy my ticket! I would then ask you to pray that ticket prices remain stable for the next two months, since the money to buy my ticket won't be available until the end of April and while that makes me a little nervous, I'm trusting that God has a plan and my best interests in mind, and that the perfect ticket is just waiting to show itself!

At this point in the conversation you would notice the earrings I'm wearing. Or maybe you would compliment my necklace, like one of my eighth grade boys did yesterday during class. I would blush a little as I accept your compliment and share that I made them myself. Of course, since you're my friend you would probably already know about my Etsy shop so I would tell you a secret: that in honor of the leap year, for 24 hours on February 29, you can get 29% off your order with the code LEAPYEAR2012.

Then I would gasp and tell you how crazy it is that the fourth quarter begins in ten days. Most likely I would start to get stressed telling you how little time we have left and how much we still have to accomplish, and how the fourth quarter will fly by after we return from spring break. Then I would probably start biting my nails in anticipation of the 8th grade class trip, explaining to you that I am leading this trip for the very first time and terrified to be the one responsible for everything! I would hopefully then recall how awesome my eighth graders are this year and trust that even if I make mistakes in leading the trip, they will still (hopefully!) love me.

What would you tell me? Would you have an embarassing story from the week to share? Would you tell me how to pray for you, or would you share a God moment?

giving thanks

Thanksgiving is not usually celebrated by the locals here in Germany. Since it's not a national holiday, schools and business do not close. This means that for the last three years, now, I have worked on Thanksgiving Day. Gone about my business as if nothing were any different about that day. Sad, really.

In my lifetime, Thanksgiving has always been celebrated with a feast and family members nearby. We don't have any set traditons aside from the turkey and Great Grandma Bertschi's sweet potato casserole; one year we "camped" in rustic cabins in the middle of Indiana with my dad's side of the family, another year we celebrated at Cracker Barrel, and one year I even came home from college for Thanksgiving break to met two brand new baby boys.

(2006: Remember when they were this tiny??

the moving sale of the decade

For the past two weeks I have worked on preparing a moving sale, and in the meantime my parents actually put an offer on a house that was accepted! So it was a true blue moving sale this weekend at our house.

Friday morning found us racing against the rainclouds to get the portable awnings up, and all the goods out of the rain. Once everything was situated, my mom and cousin left to get breakfast and run a few quick errands in town. "You'll be alright on your own, right?" Were her parting words. Sure, I'll be fine.

see the puddles in the driveway?

it all started...

The other night when my dad asked my brother what he wanted to listen to with dinner. [Yep, my family still sits down together for dinner almost every night of the week!]

David replied, "Metal."

[Typical.]

We waited to see what Dad had up his sleeve. Suddenly found ourselves soaking in the sounds of John Phillip Sousa's all-American marches.

Technically, brass IS a type of metal, though not quite what David was expecting.

re-entry

The more time I spend outside the United States, the harder it is to come back. After spending time in Germany, in a culture that doesn't emphasize material wealth but instead values healthy lifestyles and family interaction, I find myself feeling overwhelmed walking through Wal-Mart or watching the commercials on TV.

But this post isn't about reverse culture shock. It's about all the things in America that I miss.

CHIPOTLE