not my party

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This week at a meeting with some Member Care people from my mission, a story was shared about a young boy who arrived at school one day to a surprise. It was his classmate's birthday, and the child's mother had come in ahead of time to place treats and balloons at each child's desk. The boy began to notice that the birthday girl had more treats and attention that he did, and he began to show his frustration by huffing and puffing and stomping about. His teacher came over and gently told him, "This is not your party."

Lately God has been reminding me of this truth in several areas.

In my coffee cupdate this week I wrote about support raising being a stressful and negative thing, something that I would rather avoid right now because it makes me uncomfortable and is hard. When I go to America for the summer I arrive filled to the brim with stories about the school year and awesome things God has done in my students' lives. Do I share those stories to bring him glory? Or to bring myself glory? A life of obedience to Christ means doing things not with selfish ambition, but to make his name known. It means going out of my comfort zone and doing what he asks because he is faithful and will bless my obedience which, in difficult circumstances, can be a testimony to those watching me.

At small group on Wednesday Ashley shared about her personal experience of learning to do things for God's approval rather than man's. She shared from Colossians 3, relating it to her recent chapel band auditions and other events where she found that joy came in doing these things for the Lord, rather than for the approval of her peers.

Tonight at choir practice, I biffed my solo. All week I had been practicing, humming my notes in the hallway at school and belting it out at home (much to the dismay, I'm sure, to my neighbors). My first time singing this solo with the choir was tonight, and when Danny began playing the intro I realized I had been practicing in the wrong key all week. Suddenly had to rethink a whole verse in a matter of seconds. Use your imagination. It didn't sound good. I was so embarassed that I had to close my eyes to finish my part because I couldn't bear to look at the choir members.

But why am I singing a solo in the first place? Even though I tell myself I'm not trying to look good, my pride was admittedly injured as I fumbled through my solo in front of the choir tonight. Tomorrow night I have to remember that I am singing the first verse of Amazing Grace to bring glory to God alone. Obviously I want to sound good. Who doesn't? But in the end it's not about the notes I'm singing or how many compliments I get afterwards. It's about proclaiming the truth of God's grace.

To God all glory, forever. This is not my party!!