Where do you draw the line between giving grace and laying down the law? I'm finding it extremely difficult to find a balance with this when dealing with my middle schoolers, and lately it seems like all I can think about. Is this one of those things I won't understand until I'm a parent?
One rule I have is no food or drink in my classroom, only water. This is a new rule since returning from Christmas break, because I spent way too much time last semester picking up food, wrappers, and other related items off the floor of my classroom at the end of each day. To make sure my students were all aware of it, I posted a bold sign on the door and announced the new rule to each class. Within hours a few boys were drinking (and spilling) Cokes in my room during another class, apparently under the delusion that my sign and announcement were simply a suggestion. Later in the week, I caught two girls chewing on lollipop sticks, clearly the remnants of candy that should not be in the room at all. On Friday, I tidied up the classroom and found three gum wrappers and crushed candy cane under the desks. Am I unreasonable to say that this behavior is unacceptable? I realize I need to pick my battles but cleanliness is a big deal in my book!
The icing on the cake was today, when I came into the classroom to find a student holding an open bag of pistachios. Said student was suspiciously quick to inform me that they weren't being eaten. So I asked why the bag was open and got a lame reply. But since I had no proof that the student was eating, I trusted (against my better judgement) the student's word and didn't pursue the matter further. Until I found two shells from the pistachios on the floor. After class, I called the student aside and again asked about the pistachios, this time showing the evidence I'd found on the floor. Caught in a lie, the student proceeded to give me two or three different responses that never even answered my question. I think what bothered me the most was that the student had no problem lying to my face, and didn't respect me enough to tell the truth, even when we both knew I already knew the truth.
What can you do when students are willfully disobedient and show no remorse?
And then there's the whole issue about having the respect of your students. I'm sure I'm making it out to be worse than it really is, but most days I feel like none of my students respect me. And it goes beyond the classroom. Hearing 8th grade girls talk about me in the hallway shouldn't bother me but the truth is, I'm human and it does hurt. I'm not here to be their friends, and so what if they don't like me. It's not cool to like teachers anyway. But if they don't respect me, then I'm in trouble.
Thoughts, anyone??
I know this is late, but here's my comment:
ReplyDeleteWell....I'm not as experienced in the same teaching field as you, considering my experience is with children MUCH younger than yours, but many basic teaching principles remain the same. One of the biggest teaching principles I've come to realize is that the beginning of the year, when the kids are just beginning to get a handle on the type of teacher you are, is the best time to lay down a rule like the no eating/drinking in class policy. Maybe that's because the entire rest of the year is spent enforcing the rules until the kids get it. I'm guessing it's a lot harder for them to obey a new rule halfway through the school year than it would be if it had been in effect all year.
Of course, if the purpose of the rule is to keep the classroom clean, then it might be a good idea to have a "keep your area clean" rule, or have a designated trash picker-upper instead of a rule about bringing food into class in the first place, as kids tend to just learn to smuggle in what they want anyway (not that they *should,* but they do anyway).